spoken like a true heartbreaker

H: You’re so rough!

E: I’m rough, but I don’t break things.

H: Except hearts.

E: I don’t break hearts.

H: You’ve turned down a marriage proposal!

E: They didn’t deserve me.

Published in: on March 11, 2011 at 2:13 am  Leave a Comment  

HELL YEAH!

*flails*

And, freshly hatched shirt just in time for my Easter plans!

I am so very pained because of for Michael Cole, the poor dear designated chump.

Published in: on March 9, 2011 at 5:50 am  Leave a Comment  
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the thing about pauses

E: M came to see me today.  He showed me his.

(I cracked up before I could get “Did you show him yours?” out.)

E: He showed me his phone.  And I said, “Wah your phone is SO BIG!”  And he said, “Don’t worry Lizabeth, the size can be adjusted!”

Published in: on March 9, 2011 at 2:24 am  Leave a Comment  

self-amusement park

Right.  I just wrote a piece of prose, and I really don’t see how I can convert it to poetry.  Linguistically, sure.  Stylistically, murder.

The word count is slightly more than 350 words, and the bulk of it is patently plagiarism- ON PURPOSE ON PURPOSE DON’T CRUCIFY ME.

Thank you.

Anyway, the idea for the piece was conceived in the shower, and I made haste to return to my bedroom like you wouldn’t believe.  I don’t know, man.  The things I do to amuse myself…

Published in: on March 9, 2011 at 2:13 am  Leave a Comment  

very superstitious

I think my bad state of mind brought bad mojo to the teams I like.

Also, someone please answer me this: why does Liverpool always win when I watch their matches?  At least it was Kuyt.  I like Kuyt.  Once he nabbed his second, I hoped for a hat-trick.  I was spoiled before Brown’s free kick was taken, and I was all “ugh, couldn’t it at least be Kuyt?”…then Kuyt dashed forward and popped the ball in.  How thoughtful of him!

(Not a Manchester United supporter, but between them and Liverpool – them.)

Published in: on March 7, 2011 at 5:54 am  Leave a Comment  

England v France: (9) 17 – 9 (9)

Let’s do this, penalty goal style:

1. Chris Ashton swallow-dived…but it wasn’t meant to be.

damn you, forward pass!

**

2. Jonny is back on his throne.  Today’s first order of business was reclaiming his position as the all-time top points-scorer in Test rugby (1190 points).

commentator bellows: WILKINSOOOOOOOOOON

Gotta feel for Dan Carter (1188 points).  He’s only had the record for about three months.  I remember it took him a good few attempts before he stopped missing the kick.  I also remember watching and wondering if the anticipation was causing performance problems.  I should remember to stop projecting.

**

3. Jonny cut his hair :’)

you can hitch my ride anytime

 

(Images from Zimbio)

Published in: on February 27, 2011 at 6:34 pm  Comments (2)  
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remember:

Published in: on February 20, 2011 at 4:42 am  Leave a Comment  

finally…

The Rock has come back.

Damn.  I knew what was coming, but when his voice first broke through the black of the arena, I broke out in goosebumps.  Then I rewound and re-watched and re-goosebumped.  Again and again and again.  Then because I have a lot of emotions, I started tearing up at the crowd’s cheering and screaming and collective wetting of pants.

The man has. not. changed.  Dramatic flair fully intact.  His pauses still last as long as a shark’s pregnancy.  I used to sometimes get annoyed with him for taking so bloody long to Layeth the Smacketh Down, what with his The People’s Eyebrow…The People’s Elbow…The People’s… The Rock’s not my favourite wrestler, but I looked forward to his matches all the same, because he’s not wrong when he toots his “electrifying entertainer” horn.

I love this part of his speech:

There is one man who The Rock is gonna see.  There is one man who The Rock has to see face-to-face.  A guy who I met.  A guy who I thought was a cool guy.  Wished him well.  Happy for his success.  When The Rock leaves, he comes in.  And, out of the blue, eventually, he starts talkin’ trash about The Rock.  I don’t know why, and I don’t care.  But I’m back now.  You might’ve heard of him.  His name is John Cena.

*Cena fans chant CeNation CeNation CeNation…*

So let me get this straight.  The WWE.  Has gone from.  The powerful Austin 3:16.  To the dominant and iconic Can You Smell What The Rock is Cookin’? ALL the way to: You Can’t See Me…  You Can’t See Me…  You Can’t See… What are you playing, peek-a-boo?  You can’t see me…I can see you…you can’t…can you see me?

Oh believe me, we ALL can see you.  We ALL can see you.

A blindfolded, sleeping, stuck-in-the-basement Stevie Wonder can see your monkey-ass.  How the hell you think we can miss?  You come out here with your bright-ass purple shirt and before that your bright green shirt before that your bright orange shirt you run around here lookin’ like a big fat bowl of Fruity Pebbles!

John Cena, The Rock will see you at WrestleMania.

Laud the wrestler who puts hearts in my eyes and laugh at the wrestler who sent me into mourning for the days when WWE was still WWF?  Carry on, Rock, carry on.  Carry on taking as long as you want to complete your sentences and Layeth the Smacketh Down.

Right.  Stone Cold’s hosting the upcoming WWE Tough Enough, The Rock’s back and hosting the upcoming WrestleMania.  Looks like I’m going to be fitting wrestling into my schedule again.

Also, I’ve been waiting for April to arrive for quite a while now.  One reason, is my plan to get my grubby hands on an Austin 3:16 tee as a gift to myself for…uh…Easter?  Now I really need April to get with the programme and just get here already.  I also need to calm down…maybe.

Published in: on February 17, 2011 at 2:46 am  Comments (1)  
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England v Italy: (31) 59 – 13 (6)

8 tries!  EIGHT!  Mah goodness.

4 of them were Chris Ashton’s.  Why, yes, that is the sound of records being smashed.  Chris…what do you eat for breakfast?!

Anyway, he did the swallow dive again – twice (his 1st and 4th try; England’s 1st and 8th try).  Haha, Johno seemed more amused by the cheekiness today.  Boy likes to have his serious with a side of fun, and I like him for it.

swallow dive no. 1

spot the difference (aka swallow dive no. 2)

Man of the Match

2010 IRPA Try of the Year award

don't need lightman to tell me what emotion this is

Also, I adore rugby commentators.  After Jonny made a brilliant tackle on an Italian player who was well on his way to scoring a try:

*dreamy sigh* 78 minutes, and Jonny Wilkinson refuses. to. yield.  Puts his body through the mincer again.

Italy came achingly close to winning last week, and this match was quite the lashing.  Yikes.

Published in: on February 13, 2011 at 3:46 am  Leave a Comment  
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saddlin’ up

Four months, and now the first big step is upon me.  Last week doesn’t count – not really.  I’m scared.  The longest I’ve gone without crumbling, is four months.  That time, I crashed because I hadn’t been ready for the big steps, but forced myself to take them.

Good thing it’s matches galore tonight; I’ll need all the distraction I can get.

Published in: on February 12, 2011 at 6:02 pm  Comments (2)